Thursday, June 19, 2008
jeremy's new blog..it's the dunno how many xxx no of blogs alrdy..but this one shld be longer i guess...
http://web.mac.com/jeremy_tan/Site/Blog/Blog.htmljust a quick update..last weekend went to my cousin's wedding in msia..shall not update much on that, but i do have pictures of a cute lil' girl which i will load when i'm more free...when im back dear accompanied me all the time. although i felt that we didnt talk much or really spend time tgt, but he was always there with me when i need him and felt so tired...
thank you very much my dear :)
and sorry bout just now for making ur day worst..i'm sure u're enjoying urself w ur friends..ur friends are always ur best antidote..hugs..
all these tiredness..don't know where it somes from..just 2 days ago was my dear poly mate, cailuan's birthday!!!!hee..Happy belated birthday!..
and also our 49th months.....going to bed w a heavy heart and a messed up mind...so many things to say yet...........
i miss you....
Lots of Love 9:52 PM;
no comments needed for the post below...
Lots of Love 9:26 PM;
sometimes i really don't know how come i'm in a relationship.i guess it's because i fell in love with someone.
but after 4 years, what holds on to it? because of all the ups and downs that you're still together or because you already have a commitment there that's its a waste to let go..i love you, you love me, but are we still in love with each other?.the same problem surfaces and goes, comes and goes...2 really very different person you & me..
everybody loves him, boys, girls, male, female, auntie uncle, ah gong, ah ma,friends and family..of course i got the best of it, and also maybe the worst of it...he's such a pple person, he's good with anyone and everyone, that's why he is in the career he's in now...
but me? i'm none like him, i'm not good or outstanding at anything, i don't mix ard well, and lots lots more.. i really dont know why he's with me, it's cause he's soft hearted i guess...
..i admire the things he does that i believe i will nv find another guy like him, i can't bring myself to let go cause i really fell in love with someone that i nv imagine myself to do/change so much for..so challenging it's tiring to keep up with him, always so wild and random, so much energy and on the move, such colourful and new things.. so irritated with the things he does, yet at the same time admiring and so proud of the things he do..
on my side, i can never keep up with him..i can nv convey how i really feel..the way i show my love, my care and concern is how he deems as the opposite..i'm changing i'm trying, cause i cant bear to lose him..i know i dont suit him, i'm nv good enough for him, will nv be good enough for him..
he can easily find someone else, both of us know that..so i'm being selfish.i'm keeping him to myself as long as i can..i know i love him and can nv say enough of it because my love for him, to him will nv be enough...
we always say, love a person for who he is, cause it's him that you actually fell in love with..it's true..but the sad thing is pple change according to environment....and i can say i really did love him for who he is and again, he's changing so fast that i cant keep up, when i finally do, our timing is always not right..and we end up back to the same point..again and again until he finally says, this is the last hope and chance i'm going to give it...
we're both trying our best..and a new episode begins, new environments, new challenges waiting ahead..
my first love and hopefully the last....
Lots of Love 8:23 PM;